EPISODES (50) 44 FEEDBACK FRIENDLY--dealing well with negative feedback.
Negative feedback, says Andrew, could be one of the most radical ways for you to become a success at work
When it comes to negative feedback, Andrew asks, can you roll with the punches, not just out? Feedback at work sometimes hurts. Your bruised ego suffers and may make you feel shame.
Think of a time when you received some unpleasant feedback suggests Andrew. How would you rate your response to that unpleasant feedback?
Did you welcome it, thank the person for being honest, and reflect on what you intended to do about the feedback? Did you do something active to apply what you heard in real life?
Learning through feedback is a potent mechanism. It’s almost certainly a way to build your chances of success at work, by embracing such feedback.
Even the most confident person may struggle to handle negative feedback well. You may be fine with straight criticism, or even what passes for constructive criticism.
But what about those destructive remarks about you and your work performance? Not so easy, is it?
Negative feedback can touch a nerve. It can trigger your brain into a defensive state from which it’s hard to emerge feeling improved or inspired.
Rating your response to negative feedback works can be an antidote to the poison that such information administers to your whole being.
Another valuable approach to embracing negative feedback is the “Grain of Truth” tactic. This is a mental aid to convert your reaction from pain into curiosity.
The Grain of Truth method It that you're interested in discovering just two per cent of the truth of such awful feedback. Start by thinking:
“Yes, I’m hurt and angry. But could there be something in it? Perhaps two per cent of what the other person tells me has something I should think about?”
The Grain of Truth tactic helps get you over the threshold of discomfort. You defuse its emotional power by reframing the criticism into a search for meaning.
Your search for the elusive two per cent can prevent feelings from swamping your ability to extract something positive from the information.
To uncover this grain of truth you pay close attention to what was said. You take it apart with questions such as:
- “Can you be more specific about what you mean by that?”
- “What examples can you point to that lead you to say that?”
- “Could you explain a bit more why you think that?
Andrew makes the poin
Can't wait for Series 2 to run its course? Then buy Andrew's new book, published on Amazon, and there's also an Audio version.
Further reading and videos: Andrew recommends some useful follow-through material which you can find for each episode at
www.myhappinessatwork.com/reading/categories/research-reading
and
www.myhappinessatwork.com/watch.
BOOK:
The 50 Ways to Succeed at Work book is a standalone companion to Andrew Leigh's weekly podcasts.
It's an essential resource for all job starters and those at work for a few years.
Dip in and out and take what seems helpful.
www.myhappinessatwork.com/book
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